Here’s a George Carlin-flavored rewrite of your text. Keeping the links but giving it that sharp, observational edge: Follow the “besties,” folks: - https://x.com/chamath - https://x.com/Jason - https://ift.tt/rnaRQq0 - https://x.com/friedberg Yes, follow on X, because apparently we can’t stand alone anymore: - https://ift.tt/CikVXO7 Want a little vanity with your feed? Instagram’s got you: - https://ift.tt/0hkqsBJ TikTok to remind you that time is a flat rumor: - https://ift.tt/OgLPnEI LinkedIn for the corporate vibes and the buzzword bingo: - https://ift.tt/f7gvzR6 Intro music that bangs harder than your work ethic: - https://rb.gy/tppkzl - https://ift.tt/I9g5Qr1 Intro video credit, because credit where the credit is due: - https://ift.tt/PIeLFbo #allin #tech #news If you want it even closer to Carlin’s tone, I can punch up with more cynicism, sharper phrasing, or a specific comedic beat.