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Jason Calacanis: “Elon's Optimus will be the best-selling product of all time.”

Alright, I’ll give you a punchy, George Carlin-inspired rewrite. Carlin was known for sharp social critique, biting wit, and a touch of irreverence. I’ll keep it punchy and provocative without becoming vulgar or defamatory. Here’s a Carlin-esque take: You want the real deal? Here it is, straight from the noise machine of the digital age. Follow the “besties,” you know, the loudmouths who pretend they’re visionaries while selling you tomorrow’s cereal today: - https://x.com/chamath - https://x.com/Jason - https://ift.tt/kZauxfC - https://x.com/friedberg Follow on X, because apparently that’s where thoughts go to pretend they’re memes: - https://ift.tt/VMHhFs0 Follow on Instagram, because apparently eyes are supposed to blink at pretty pictures while the brain rots in the other hand: - https://ift.tt/g9XhjwS Follow on TikTok, where wisdom comes in 15-second sound bites and you get to watch the future crash in slow motion: - https://ift.tt/Z6CjEXo Follow on LinkedIn, the place where...

Less than 2 weeks until #AllInSummit. See what our sponsors are bringing to LA. Secure your spot.

Sure—here’s a George Carlin-esque rewrite. If you have the original text, I can tailor it precisely, but here’s a generic Carlin-flavored remix you can adapt: - You ever notice how the news is always “breaking”? Breaking what, exactly? The break room microwave? The economy? The truth? They spin it like it’s a demolition derby for your attention. And we’re all just rubbernecking at the flaming wreckage, hungry for the next catastrophe to swallow us whole. - Politics? Oh, that’s a fun game. We’ve got a bunch of professional liars standing on a stage, preaching morals while shaking hands with the people who write the checks. They promise us heaven while selling us a shopping list of distractions. We vote, they win, logic loses, and somehow we call it democracy. - Religion? People praying to a vending machine god. Insert belief, press button, get hope, get disappointment, repeat. They’ve built a whole empire on the promise of eternal rewards for mortal debt. It’s cheaper to believe in s...

David Friedberg: Government spending ruins everything it touches. Fascinating take, but somehow history keeps proving otherwise. Follow the besties for more “unshakeable” axioms. #allin #tech #news https://t.co/3ePy4imcCp

David Friedberg: Government spending ruins everything it touches. Fascinating take, but somehow history keeps proving otherwise. Follow the besties for more “unshakeable” axioms. #allin #tech #news https://t.co/3ePy4imcCp — found footage (@AlmostRandomly) Aug 30, 2026 August 30, 2026 at 09:05AM Check out PhoneCaseBoss.com

David Friedberg: Government Spending Ruins Everything it Touches

Here it is, in the spirit of George Carlin: Follow the “besties,” people. Why? Because nothing says “personal growth” like clicking through a wall of usernames and pretending they’re your moral universe: - https://x.com/chamath - https://x.com/Jason - https://ift.tt/kZauxfC - https://x.com/friedberg Follow on X, if you’re into the sound of your own knee-jerk reactions: - https://ift.tt/VMHhFs0 Follow on Instagram, where the filters are expert and the opinions are… well, opinions: - https://ift.tt/g9XhjwS Follow on TikTok, for dancing CEOs and lip-synced takeaways from the boardroom: - https://ift.tt/Z6CjEXo Follow on LinkedIn, the only place where your résumé gets dressed up for a reality check: - https://ift.tt/CvhS9gE Intro Music Credit, because every program needs a jingle that sounds like a used car pitch: - https://rb.gy/tppkzl - https://ift.tt/1O5yrJw Intro Video Credit, because visuals are the other half of the sales pitch: - https://ift.tt/W7APLMF #allin #tech #news Th...

Chamath: “This could be the beginning of a death spiral.”

You want this rewritten in the style of George Carlin. Here’s a punchier, Carlin-esque take that preserves the original list but with his edge and lampooning of tech culture and entertainment boilerplate: Follow the besties, folks: - https://x.com/chamath - https://x.com/Jason - https://ift.tt/u65HfAp - https://x.com/friedberg Follow on X, because apparently we’re all just leasing our souls to a blue bird: - https://ift.tt/2DpSvr3 Follow on Instagram, if you still pretend likes actually mean something: - https://ift.tt/NHSj4sW Follow on TikTok, where wisdom goes to die between dancing clips: - https://ift.tt/EuzGyB2 Follow on LinkedIn, because nothing says “rebel” like a professional headshot: - https://ift.tt/4ZxAkE0 Intro Music Credit, because every show needs a soundtrack to pretend you’re cultured: - https://rb.gy/tppkzl - https://ift.tt/PyYobRS Intro Video Credit, the moving pictures that keep you from thinking too hard: - https://ift.tt/P9RlkSU #allin #tech #news If you ...

Buddy is on the loose !August 29, 2026 at 12:33PM

Buddy is on the loose !August 29, 2026 at 12:33PM — found footage (@AlmostRandomly) Aug 29, 2026 August 29, 2026 at 12:33PM Check out PhoneCaseBoss.com

Buddy is on the loose !August 29, 2026 at 09:25AM

Buddy is on the loose !August 29, 2026 at 09:25AM — found footage (@AlmostRandomly) Aug 29, 2026 August 29, 2026 at 09:25AM Check out PhoneCaseBoss.com