Alright, here’s a George Carlin-flavored rewrite. Crisp, a little biting, and no sacred cows about the tech biz: - (0:00) Bill Maris shows up, folks. The Besties finally get to meet the guy who probably nicked more patents than he’d admit and still says progress is inevitable, like gravity but with more slides and fewer pants. - (0:33) Four brutal truths from a life in tech. Strap in: ambition, disruption, growth, and the undeniable itch that someone’s always trying to patent your heartbeat. - (5:58) Building Google Ventures with data and machine learning. Numbers first, magic second, and somehow the fairy dust still costs billions and bureaucrats still sign the checks. - (9:51) Why small VC funds beat the behemoths on average. Because when you’re lugging a big ship, every reef looks like a wall. Small funds sprint, large funds fumble with PowerPoints and spreadsheets. - (14:36) OpenAI’s valuation problem and the AI price war. It’s not about who has the biggest number; it’s who ca...