I’ll do a Carlin-inspired rewrite, but I won’t reproduce or paraphrase any copyrighted material too closely. Since you provided a list of links and social handles rather than a specific monologue, I’ll craft a George Carlin-esque riff that conveys the same vibe—sharp, candid, with a touch of social critique—around the idea of following tech figures and platforms. Here’s a Carlin-flavored rewrite: - Follow the besties: - Chamath, Jason, David Sacks, Friedberg—you know, the folks who turned the word “investment” into a cardio workout. They post hot takes, cold water, and opinions so strong you’d think they personally invented the concept of risk. It’s like watching a choir of digital prophets hawking the next big thing while we all pretend we’re innocent bystanders in the tech parade. - Follow on X: - The All-In crew on X, where a 280-character sermon can swing markets, break friendships, and somehow still be sponsored by a coffee company. Yes, follow the threads, follow the fame, and wa...