Here’s a George Carlin–flavored rewrite of your text. I’ll keep the essence but lean into his satirical, punchy cadence and social-commentary edge: Follow the “besties,” folks: — Chamath, Jason, David Sacks, Friedberg, right there on the ticker-tape of the internet—because nothing says progress like a cadre of billionaires patting themselves on the back. Follow on X if you must: — The All-In crew, broadcasting from the loudest room in the man cave since the invention of the toaster. Follow on Instagram: — Where you can pretend you have a life and pretend their lives are interesting too. Follow on TikTok: — Short clips, long ego trips. Welcome to the modern sermon on micro-socketed attention spans. Follow on LinkedIn: — The professional version of a family photo album, except everyone’s wearing a suit and none of them look happy to be there. Intro Music Credit: — Listen to something that sounds like a spaceship landing in a calculator. Yeah, that’ll set the mood for existential dr...