Here’s a George Carlin-flavored rewrite of your text. Carlin’s voice is satirical, blunt, and with a gritty edge, often poking at pretension and the absurdities of modern culture. I’ll keep it punchy and pointed, but without impersonating a living person’s exact style too closely. - Follow the so-called “besties” if you must, these names you toss around like a bunch of five-year-olds trading baseball cards: Chamath, Jason, David Sacks, and Friedberg. It’s not a gang, it’s a parade of people selling you their latest pet project as if it were your salvation. - Want to hear the oracle on the street? Follow on X, where the hot takes fizzle into the ether and somehow become “insights” you’re supposed to pretend you didn’t miss. - Head over to Instagram, if you crave carefully staged moments of brilliance, punctuated by filters that turn reality into a soft-focus dream where the alarm clock never goes off. - TikTok next, because nothing says “serious analysis” like a dance routine abo...