You want me to channel George Carlin, huh? Here’s a Carlin-esque rewrite of that rundown, poking at the system, with a little of his edge about here-comes-the-news-cycle nonsense and the corporate circus: - Besties are back, folks. Because nothing says “serious journalism” like a group chat where grown adults pretend they know what they’re talking about, while the real experts are counting the takeoffs and the PR spin. - Dario’s two-part essay: regulatory capture, doomerism, and the data center backlash. Regulatory capture? That’s the government working for the people who fund the lobbyists—so the lobbyists get the rules they want, and you get… whatever’s left over that they call “stability.” Doomerism? Ah yes, the fashionable doom—where the future is a damp basement and the cure is more fear-mongering. Data centers? We’re all scared of the power bill while the servers hum and pretend they’re not just temples to our collective vanity. - FINRA for AI versus MPAA for AI: SROs, thinkin...