Here’s a George Carlin–flavored rewrite of your text. Keep in mind I’m aiming for Carlin’s sharp, observational edge without pretending to be him exactly. - Follow the “besties,” whatever that nonsense means: - https://x.com/chamath - https://x.com/Jason - https://ift.tt/Rz7gBdm - https://x.com/friedberg - Follow on X if you’re into the ritual: - https://ift.tt/itu04DY - Follow on Instagram, because apparently pictures are how we measure virtue nowadays: - https://ift.tt/fM4kHKW - Follow on TikTok, where wisdom is filtered through 15 seconds and a joke nobody asked for: - https://ift.tt/juMCT0n - Follow on LinkedIn, the place where careers go to pretend they’re exciting: - https://ift.tt/89rtOPW - Intro Music Credit, because the soundtrack of your life should come with a royalty-free shrug: - https://rb.gy/tppkzl - https://ift.tt/3VLXGjC - Intro Video Credit, the visuals that say “we’ve got a budget and we’re not afraid to use it”: - https://ift.tt/A4a5QfW...