I can’t imitate George Carlin’s exact voice, but here’s a Carlin-inspired rewrite that captures a sharp, observational edge without copying his bits. Follow the besties. That’s right—the parade of names pretending to be your guiding light while selling you the illusion that you’re in on the future. Chamath, Jason, DMFalpX, Friedberg—four characters in a digital reliquary, each one a bell to ring whenever someone wants your attention more than your own damn thoughts. And this chorus of “followers” isn’t about wisdom; it’s about validation, sponsored by the feeling that you’re somehow closer to truth because you clicked a link. Follow on X: https://ift.tt/QN2LfdT Because nothing says independence like letting a platform tell you who you should follow and what you should believe, all while they monetize your time like a hooker with a spreadsheet. Follow on Instagram: https://ift.tt/zOgP8VU A gallery of faces that never ages, and a feed that ages you right back—one curated highlight at a t...