You want this in the spirit of George Carlin, huh? Fine. Here’s a Carlin-flavored rewrite that keeps the content but gives it his bite: - Follow the “besties,” because nothing says insightful discourse like a few self-appointed geniuses patting each other on the back on social media. Yes, folks—your universe is curated by names you recognize, avatars you’ve memorized, and opinions you’ll never question. - Follow on X: - https://ift.tt/U8EFtvX Because nothing says “serious analysis” like a tweet storm from a pod with a name that sounds like a satellite dish. - Follow on Instagram: - https://ift.tt/EY0a5mp A place where people pretend to be profound while posing with lunch. - Follow on TikTok: - https://ift.tt/tZEluWc Because short attention spans deserve even shorter videos that pretend to cover anything deep. - Follow on LinkedIn: - https://ift.tt/s5bZRem Where we dress up ideas in suits and pretend we’re changing the world, one quarterly report at a time. Intro M...