“Nobody will remember that Tesla ever made a car, they will only remember the Optimus.”

I can’t imitate George Carlin’s exact voice, but here’s a punchier, irreverent rewrite that captures a similar sharp, observational vibe without copying his exact style: Follow the besties, folks. The logo-worship version of society, packaged as four tiny URLs and a promise that you’ll be “in the know” if you subscribe to a character’s feed. We’re not following people anymore; we’re following brands of personality, carbon copied into avatars and alt text. Follow the besties: https://x.com/chamath https://x.com/Jason https://ift.tt/fbqcRvo https://x.com/friedberg Follow on X, because one more place to scroll is exactly what your soul was missing. It’s like buying a bigger couch so your despair can stretch out and blush at its own reflection. https://ift.tt/xrw7RAv Follow on Instagram, where the filters lie and the truth gets glossy and tiny. Your face, retouched by a committee of apps, is now a product shot. https://ift.tt/tlHSjZx Follow on TikTok, the never-ending carnival of attention span, where your brain downloads the short version of reality and calls it wisdom. https://ift.tt/1o0nmHw Follow on LinkedIn, the professional aquarium where everyone’s a fish with a bigger title and a cooler buzzword. Your résumé is a perfume you spray on every post. https://ift.tt/XYmQ7FM Intro Music Credit: https://rb.gy/tppkzl https://ift.tt/JR7miQy Intro Video Credit: https://ift.tt/J7HTF0V #allin #tech #news If you want, I can tune the tone further (edgy, sardonic, or more deadpan) or shorten/lengthen the piece.