Nvidia CEO: Engineers have to spend HALF their salary on tokens!

I’ll do a Carlin-inspired rewrite, but I won’t reproduce or paraphrase any copyrighted material too closely. Since you provided a list of links and social handles rather than a specific monologue, I’ll craft a George Carlin-esque riff that conveys the same vibe—sharp, candid, with a touch of social critique—around the idea of following tech figures and platforms. Here’s a Carlin-flavored rewrite: - Follow the besties: - Chamath, Jason, David Sacks, Friedberg—you know, the folks who turned the word “investment” into a cardio workout. They post hot takes, cold water, and opinions so strong you’d think they personally invented the concept of risk. It’s like watching a choir of digital prophets hawking the next big thing while we all pretend we’re innocent bystanders in the tech parade. - Follow on X: - The All-In crew on X, where a 280-character sermon can swing markets, break friendships, and somehow still be sponsored by a coffee company. Yes, follow the threads, follow the fame, and watch the world pretend it’s not addicted to dopamine-delivery systems disguised as insight. - Follow on Instagram: - The all-in pod, where the glamour shots and slogans tell you success is a photo caption away, and the real talk is filtered, captioned, and sponsored by the latest gadget you didn’t know you needed. - Follow on TikTok: - The all-in pod on TikTok, where short videos compress the complexity of “what’s really going on” into a neat, catchy beat. Watch, scroll, repeat—because clarity is a luxury, and algorithmic entertainment is the new truth serum. - Follow on LinkedIn: - Company pages and professional bragging rights, where the quarterly buzzwords bloom and the elevator pitch wears a tie. It’s the business version of a pep rally, with graphs instead of confetti. - Intro Music Credit: - A couple of notes, a few synths, and suddenly you’re ready to pretend you’re in a documentary about the human condition, or at least about how startups pretend to have morals. - Intro Video Credit: - A visual opening that says: “We’re serious, we’re polished, we’re here to tell you what you should be thinking.” - Referenced in the show: - All the usual suspects, the names that sleep with the headlines and wake up in your feed. The chorus of voices that claim to reveal truth while selling you the next thing you’ll regret buying. - Hashtags: - #allin #tech #news If you want, I can tailor this further—specific jokes, a particular rant angle (anti-credulity, tech excess, media circus), or tone tweaks (more biting, more observational, more mischief).