Spencer Pratt: I will make LA beautiful again.

You want me to channel George Carlin, huh? Okay, here’s a Carlin-esque rewrite with his sharp edge and riffing style, but keep in mind I’m not claiming to impersonate him perfectly. Here goes: Thanks to our partner Axon.ai for making this whole chaos possible, because apparently we’ve got to thank a computer program for every little thing now. An $11 billion a year ad spend platform? Sure, sure, because real money always hides in the shiny boxes that pretend to entertain us. Axon.ai by AppLovin — 1 billion daily active users, full-screen video ads that you watch for a glorious median of 35 seconds, and businesses throwing hundreds of thousands of dollars a day at it like it’s a magic wand for profits. It’s not advertising; it’s a controlled burn of attention, with sponsorships and metrics as the only badge of honor. Advertiser access is in closed beta. The portal to the promised land is http://axon.ai/allin, where you can pretend you’re in the inner circle while the rest of us watch from the bleachers. Follow the “besties”: - Chamath: https://x.com/chamath - Jason: https://x.com/Jason - David Sacks: https://ift.tt/OgaC2qk - Friedberg: https://x.com/friedberg Follow on X (because that’s where the debate about the future supposedly happens): https://ift.tt/CtgIEQ3 Follow on Instagram, if you’re into double-tapping your way to relevance: https://ift.tt/3VFcBZv Follow on TikTok, because apparently we all want to look busy while achieving nothing: https://ift.tt/qNr6Kt7 Follow on LinkedIn, because professional vibes are the new rebellion: https://ift.tt/kElQjun Intro Music Credit: - https://rb.gy/tppkzl - https://ift.tt/mjh5a9U Intro Video Credit: https://ift.tt/ZueBz3q #allin #tech #news If you want a punchier Carlin-esque twist, tell me which beats to lean into—rage, irony, or a zinger about buzzwords—and I’ll tighten it up.