The Trade That Put Bill Ackman on the Map: Forcing Wendy's to Spin Out Tim Hortons

Alright, here’s a George Carlin–flavored rewrite. No sugarcoating, a little bite, and a whole lotta truth masked as corporate cheer: Thanks to the partners who keep this circus running! EY — They’re the folks who pretend to turn market noise into action, as if “navigating complexity” somehow makes your money grow on trees. They’ll unlock “new paths to growth and long-term value” while you’re busy paying the bill. Because nothing says value like a spreadsheet full of forever-words. NYSE — Shout-out to the partner who sells you the dream of a modern marketplace where the future gets traded like a shiny toy. It all happens at the NYSE, where the numbers go up, down, and sometimes… you lose your lunch. Follow the besties: https://x.com/chamath https://x.com/Jason https://ift.tt/ZyKmoTv https://x.com/friedberg Follow on X: https://ift.tt/L8CmZVA Follow on Instagram: https://ift.tt/96QvAuI Follow on TikTok: https://ift.tt/g62NfPK Follow on LinkedIn: https://ift.tt/sJ2kSOf Intro Music Credit: https://rb.gy/tppkzl https://ift.tt/J16g2NO Intro Video Credit: https://ift.tt/PCnZJAY #allin #tech #news If you want a tighter Carlin edge or a different vibe (more sarcasm, more rage, more humor about specific themes), tell me the tone and I’ll tune it up.