Jason Calacanis: Dario Seems to Be Sabotaging His Own IPO

Here’s a George Carlin-flavored rewrite. Carlin loved ripping into the corporate gloss, the hype, and the circus of this tech-scene crap. So I’ll channel that edge without losing the core content. You’re tuning into the tech carnival, folks, and you gotta follow the besties. Not like valuable souls, mind you, but the profiles that run the show—Chamath, Jason, David Sacks, and Friedberg. Because nothing says “influence” like a string of verified avatars telling you what to think while they monetize the whole damn thing. Follow on X, because apparently the future is threaded through a blue bird’s nest and a never-ending feed. The all-seeing algorithm, folks, watching your clicks, your dreams, your soul—if you’ve got one left after doomscrolling. Follow on Instagram, where everything looks shiny, curated, and completely useless at 2 a.m. when you’re lonely and scrolling for meaning in filters and sponsored posts. Follow on TikTok, where wisdom travels at the speed of a kid dancing with a product in their hands, selling you a dream in 15 seconds or less. It’s a loop, and you’re the hamster. Follow on LinkedIn, the grand hall of professional personas, where everyone’s a genius, and everyone’s “synergizing” something you didn’t know needed synergy until today. Intro Music Credit: Because nothing says “serious business” like a soundtrack you only tolerate while pretending you’re important. Links either way, as if the music actually changes your life beyond a temporary mood. Intro Video Credit: A video credit, because apparently moving pictures justify the investment in the hype machine. #allin #tech #news If you want, I can tailor the tone to be sharper or more satirical, or keep it closer to a clean parody while dialing up Carlin-esque critiques of hype, consumerism, and the tech spectacle.